If you want to start the mommy wars all over again, start a conversation about car seats. I’ve learned from posting a guide to car seats and air travel a few years ago that car seats can bring out the worst in millennial and Gen X parents. The judgment is real. Don’t keep your child rear facing until their teen years? Judgment. Have that chest clip a half-inch too low when you snapped a photo of the kiddo in a car seat? Judgment.
So lesson learned? No way! Here I am stepping in it all over again with an important discussion that I think needs to be had about car seats for those of us who travel abroad…. what do you really do about car seats when you are in international destinations where they aren’t the norm? It’s confession time.
I was having this conversation earlier this week with a friend and fellow family travel blogger As the Joe Flies, so I blame him for making me wade into these waters again. When it comes to child safety, both Joe and I are pretty conservative. We both use car seats religiously back home with our kids. We know how to install and use them safely. I kept my son rear facing until he was almost 3. Joe still uses a convertible car seat with his 4 year old with no plans to graduate her to a booster. We do more than what the American Association of Pediatrics and the laws of our state require. We have schlepped car seats all over this great country on dozens of planes and in numerous rental cars to keep our kids safe.
Car seat on a plane – the safest way to travel, but…
But where have we let things slide? International trips. Joe has Hong Kong roots and confessed to me that his family there thinks he’s crazy when he uses a car seat with his kids when they visit. He’s gone without with his daughter on occasion when the logistics necessitated it. Sorry Joe, I’ve outed you.
Since I’ve tattled on a fellow traveling parent, here comes the time where I should tattle on myself. We went without a car seat or booster for my daughter in Hong Kong when she was 5. More recently, I let my son ride in an Uber in Panama when he was 2 without a car seat. (That was the infamous Uber ride where my son threw up all over me, but that’s another story.) We used a car seat to and from the airport in Panama but there was just no way to use one when touring the city. Public transit wasn’t really an option there with the time we had and where we wanted to go. It was a Uber or taxi or nothing. There was just no way to take a car seat with us when we planned to stroll around the city and see various tourist sites, as we had no where to store it and no easy way to carry it.
That’s the challenge – logistics. The realities of international travel mean that bringing a car seat with you everywhere in a vehicle just isn’t possible. If you find yourself in a country where car seat use is not the norm, forget finding a car service that even has car seats unless you are independently wealthy. There’s no Uber Car Seat service in Hong Kong. Or Panama.
You can get an Uber with a car seat in Orlando, but not a lot of other places in the world!
Of course, there are some international destinations where car seats are exceptionally easy. We had no trouble in Montreal renting a car seat for our son with our rental car when we visited when he was 9 months old. When we weren’t using the car, the city’s public transit system was more than adequate to get us everywhere we needed to go so no car seat was needed for safe travel. I imagine the same would be the case in many major European cities with extensive subways and transit systems. I didn’t even have issues in Cancun, Mexico, as the tour company we hired to take us to Chichen Itza made a car seat available in our touring van (no doubt being used to dealing with American tourists who demanded it).
In a lot of other corners of the world, however, the car seat question is much harder. Public transit isn’t always safe or practical. If you do rent a car or use a taxi, the cars may not be made to even install a US car seat. A lot of cars don’t have LATCH elsewhere in the world and some even don’t have seat belts that lock off automatically, making seat belt installation problematic. Heck, some don’t even have seat belts.
So, it’s confession time. I want to hear about your personal experiences with car seat use at international destinations. Have you gone without one with your kids? At what ages? Does being able to use a car seat (or not) shape the destinations you travel to with your kids when they are at peak car seat age? Do you have any clever workarounds to share? This is a judgment-free zone.
Joe says
Hey I told you that in confidence! 🙂 Just kidding. If you do bring your car seat overseas to somewhere like Hong Kong, you might not even be able to install it in cabs. Every once in awhile you can’t even find the seatbelts in the cabs…
So if you feel uncomfortable going without, you might be better off hiring a car from the hotel. Car seats are one of the reasons we tend to rent cars more these days (so we can use our own). Don’t rent cars in Hong Kong though…
michelle says
Hey Joe, I am actually from Hong Kong and I am planning on brining my 2 kids. 2.5yo and 9m old flying CX. My dad has a car back at home so I am thinking I would need to bring my car seats…not sure if I can bring two… Can I ask you more questions? My email is hoyan926@gmail.com
Tinka says
Why in the world would you drive a car in Hong Kong? That’s much disturbing than not having a car seat. Maybe an Uber, but driving habitually in the worlds densest city? That’s just wrong.
Claire says
As a general rule, we travel with a car seat. My son rides in his seat on the airplane. That all changes when we get to our location. If we rent a car, easy, he rides in his car seat. But we went to San Francisco this summer and I took a Ride Safer Vest. He hated it. So there went that, and Even as small as it is, it’s still a pain to lug around the city. So we took lots of Ubers with no car seats. New York City, we’ve done lots of taxi rides with no car seats.
When my son was newly 2, we went to Europe and took his car seat. We lugged it everywhere because he needed to sit in it for the airplane ride. He was just too little and squirmy to be safe without it. Did we need it in Europe? No. But it came in handy as there was a train strike one day and we needed to get to The Netherlands from Belgium. We used the car seat. I don’t know what we would have done otherwise since it was a one way rental.
I’m planning a trip to Israel and Jordan now. Still debating on what to do for a car seat. Around town with a taxi, we’ll take our chances. Long road trips, he’s going to need a car seat. I’ve debated buying one there and keeping it with us. We won’t be on a tour and won’t be renting car. But it’s too much driving not to have a car seat. There’s also the Mi-Fold booster which starts at 40 pounds. But it’s low and I think I want a car seat that raises him up so he can look out the window. Plus, will he gain two pounds in less than two months?
It’s a no win situation, because there no easy way to lug a car seat around.
tripswithtykes says
Thanks for coming by to comment – and confess! Sounds like you’ve done a healthy mix of everything, which is what most frequent travelers seem to have to do. We all make calculated risks as parents and this is just one of them. We too have held our son in our lap in downtown San Francisco for a short Uber ride – given the hills, I figure the cars never really get over 20mph, so a wreck would not be devastating like it would be on a freeway.
Good luck with making your decision for Israel and Jordan. One product you may want to consider is the BubbleBum inflatable booster. We use to for longer trips since my daughter finds it more comfortable than the mifold for long periods. And I will confess to using it when she was a few months shy of being 4 years old and not quite 40 pounds for a short ride too! 😉
Anonymous says
In Israel you can buy one and take it back or rent one with the rental car.
You can also take the train from the airport to Azrieli mall and buy one there. In taxis it is legal for kids to not have a car seat but is illegal in a car. fyi
amday14 says
Very guilty here. We relocated to Europe last year and I have found that for short “getaway” trips I don’t want to haul a booster for our (now) 4 year old. There have been plenty of trips where we have buckled him in, sat on either side of him and called it a day. In Dublin, it’s a 30 minute taxi ride from the airport to the train station, where we were headed to (the very walkable) Cork. I wasn’t dragging the car seat for a 30 minute ride! I am definitely looking into the BubbleBum for him. Now we have an infant, and I’ll admit I am looking at vacations where we can rent a car seat upon arrival. While you can get a car seat through the car rental companies, I have had bad experiences (old models, not appropriate age group, etc) so I have taken to renting car seats from various companies (which is very popular/easy) here in Europe.
I agree, it’s a completely no win situation and I think each individual trip warrants it’s own judgment call. But thank you for posting this, I feel like less of a horrible parent now!
jamie goss pickett says
Who do you rent car seats from in Europe? We are traveling with our 6 month old and don’t want to lug our carseats around. We are renting a car in Tuscany for 4 days — hoping to rent a carseat with the car there. Then traveling by train to bellagio and hoping to only take buses and trains and taxis— which we wont need car seats for, right?
Egypt Holidays says
Very useful article, I like it a lot 😉
Laura says
You’re speaking to my biggest struggle right now! We’re off to Italy next week…covering 5 cities by a mix of train and rental car travel. We’re packing as light as possible, but…we’re still lugging the dang car seat! Mostly because our daughter doesn’t sleep well on planes, so we wanted her to have her own comfortable seat. We rigged up a system where we can strap the carseat to my husband’s back over this backpack. It looks a little ridiculous, but it works! It’s going to be quite the adventure (/ pain). hahaha!
We’ve only gone one time without a car seat when our daughter was very little. We took a taxi ride in NYC while she was in a carrier on me, and I was nervous the whole time. Luckily, we usually travel to destinations where renting a car is pretty feasible so we just use our own. I’m too much of a worry-wart to go without. But I can’t wait til our daughter is old enough for the Mi-Fold! 🙌🏻
Anonymous says
How did it go? I’m going to Italy with my 3 year old in the spring and we are struggling with what to do about a car seat! We’re doing 3 or 4 cities as well, mostly by train, but there will be some taxis as well.
Brittany Henry says
I am curious how it went for you in Italy?! We are planning to go this summer and my daughter will be 18m. I feel like a car seat will be needed, but we also are trying to pack light. Any suggestions?
Jeff says
We’ve travelled extensively and typically do not bring car seats. Our solution is to try to avoid car travel if at all possible, and mitigate risk when we it becomes necessary.
Find hotels/AirBnB near public transit, or pay the extra money for the hotel near the attraction. Sometimes you can get creative; in Myanmar we paid a horse cart for the day, which turned out to be a fun and authentic experience. Trains and busses are usually safer than cars and the kids can move around more anyway. Those hop-on-hop-off busses can be handy too.
In many developing countries (we’ve been to Indonesia, Myanmar and Cuba) we had no other option than to ride in cars without car seats. It’s not the best, but these are places where you might an entire family on a motorbike, with Mom holding the baby! Bringing, fitting and looking after a car seat (or two) for a taxi ride just isn’t feasible, and we feel that showing them the world is worth some risk.
When the kids were small, I or my wife would wear the Ergo/Bjorn carrier and carefully make sure lap belt was against our hips. We realize this offers little protection in a serious crash, but is far safer for a fender bender or unexpected hard stop — much more likely anyway.
If you can manage the language, you may be able to ask for a safer driver, or simply explain to the driver that you are willing to pay extra to take it slow. Remember he’s probably just trying to feed his family, so paying extra will make him feel he doesn’t have to rush on to the next fare. And if you get a good taxi driver, get his card! In many countries drivers spend all day standing around, he’ll be more than happy to fetch you!
One of the biggest challenges has been explaining to our 4 year old why the rules differ in different countries, or why US children need more protection than Burmese kids. That conversation can lead to one of the most important lessons of a trip.
The Roamer says
I would love if you could share how you explained that difference.
I am just as worried about having that conversation as having them out of a seat.
AliSFNY says
I am planning on doing the same in Spain/France. I’m traveling alone with a 21 month old. Any suggestions for me? I can’t see myself dragging a baby on stroller, backpack + luggage + car seat + diaper bag. Looking for ideas!
Millisa T says
Some European cars have built in booster seats. Maybe try local face book sell group where ppl sale carseat second hand.
Sherilyn Peabody says
We’ve only been to the Netherlands and didn’t bring the car seat for our 7-month old. We traveled by train only and brought a jetkids bedbox for her to sleep in for the international flight.
Another thing to consider for Europe is that they have different laws than the US for car seat safety. So your US approved car seat may be illegal there.
Christine says
My husband and I took our 3 year old to Grand Cayman in September. We brought our car seat along both for the plane and the car we rented. This was the best way to ensure she stayed seated the entire 3 hour plane ride. We had a caddy that allowed us to steer her in it through the airport. Bringing our own car seat ensured us we would know what we were getting when we rented the car. You don’t know when you rent if the seat has been in a collision. Gave us peace of mind. Glad I did because we saw the seat that was given to another family and 1 it looked dirty but 2 it was not the right one for his size/age. We also brought our stroller a long for when we walked around. The only place we could not take the stroller was the beach.
Liz says
We traveled to Northern Europe when my daughter was 15 months old. The only car travel we planned on doing was to and from the Amsterdam airport. I agonized over what to do for months. My husband’s stance was, “I’m not dragging around a 20lb car seat all over Europe for two weeks”. Whenever I would search the TripAdvisor forum for topics like “are car seats required in taxis in Amsterdam?” A huge part of the comments were saying what a terrible parent the original poster was for even considering it. (Btw, it is perfectly legal to take a taxi ride without a car seat in Amsterdam) After some searching, I found you can request car seats with Black Lane car service. So I did that. However, I have a very tall child and she was ridiculously large for the car seat they provided and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t latched in correctly. It ended up being fine and we even did a couple quick taxi rides GASP…without one. Now that she is a bigger (age 3) we bought an inexpensive convertible seat that is about 1/2 the weight of her normal one, we use it exclusively for travel. I also found a check in bag with a shoulder strap so it’s pretty light and easy to carry around. But if I had to do it all over again I wouldn’t sweat it and just go without.
Terinna Rath says
So I will be traveling with my will be 3 year old and 10month old to Korea, Taiwan, and Japan. My parents are using their miles and bumping our tickets to business class so husband doesn’t even want to bother with the car seat. I was so curious as to whether people use car seats in the taxi! How do you lug it around the cities all day long? But now I’m guessing you just don’t. Are they as judgey in Asia if I don’t use one? I’m 28 so I definitely remember NOT using car seats when my mom took me there in the 90s lol. But they weren’t as crazy about back then anyways.
Jennie says
@ Terinna – We did two rounds of Hong Kong + Korea trips with kids. The first time was when our oldest was 14 months old. The second time was when our oldest was 3 yrs old and our second was 9 months old. We didn’t need a car seat for either trip. Both countries have good public transportation systems. Taxis don’t require car seats. We did a 3 hour drive from Seoul to a small town where my extended family lives on our first trip HK/Korea trip without a car seat. I asked my relatives and it seemed okay at the time to travel without? I’m not 100% sure, but I certainly didn’t want to lug a car seat around two countries considering all the travel we’d be doing within each. I don’t know how safe this is (and I will admit I didn’t do that much research – please don’t judge), but I was strapped into a seat belt in the back and held my son tight in my arms. We made do without car seats because it would seriously would have been wayyyy too much luggage.
Amie says
Another option for taxis and Uber rides that is easy to carry while sightseeing is the RideSafer (https://saferide4kids.com/product/ridesafer-travel-vest/) It’s designed and crash tested (and legal) for kids 3 and up. It would be more convenient than carrying a car seat and safer than doing without. As a CPS technician I recommend it for safety. As a parent I recommend it for convenience. It’s so much easier to travel with!
Emily Stoehr says
This is all so interesting. I have a three month old and am trying to decide if I want to attempt international travel with him, or just leave with the grandparents if/when they can babysit.
Just noticing that all of the comments are from people who were NOT involved in a collision (thank goodness!). It would be very interesting to hear from a parent who was in a collision, because sadly this does happen, and although the risk is low it’s still there. Of course everything we do involves risk, even taking our kids anywhere in a car period! But I struggle with this because I would be the one making the decision to not use a car seat, so if something tragic happened I would blame myself and be filled with regret. So what is it like for parents who have gone through the unthinkable?
Hannah says
Seasoned Traveller from Australia with a 2.8yo here! When in London, bub was 5/6months old we took a black cab where possible. We had a travel stroller and put the entire stroller inside with bub in it. When taking an uber or private car in London, Italy and France we kept her in her Babybjorn carrier and I wore a lap belt. It felt far safer than just holding her.
In Sri Lanka there is nowhere to hire a car seat, but we have friends there who have a spare for their grandchild when they visit, which we borrowed and had a car with a driver the whole time. Boy is that one place you want to make sure you get a good vehicle and car seat! The centre line is just a suggestion!
In Australia, our car seat standards are higher than that of the US, and you can order a taxi and request a car seat. Most Maxi Taxi’s carry car seats too… but often are old, not fit properly and unsafe.
We are about to go to the US, and I’m considering purchasing a Cosco seat (having it shipped here) which is airline approved and leaving our heavy, bulky and expensive seat at home. Then I can use it on the airplane and for travel within the states. Our Australian one also isn’t legal over there.
So yes, I too have done things I wouldn’t DARE do when at home, and had to do the best I could in the situation and country I was in.
I flew to the MN from Sydney last year when my daughter was 14 months, just the two of us. We are about to do it again, at 2, and 8 months, and although the thought of carrying a car seat and everything else ON MY OWN for a 24 hour journey. I’m hoping it will pay off on the plane when she is restrained. Fingers crossed!
In Australia, you never see kids in car seats on the plane, and I have everything crossed that I magically grow another 4 arms, my back doesn’t go out and my child enjoys her flight!
Tinka says
Guys, look at the doona by “simple parenting”. It’s a stroller that turns into a legal car seat. Best thing ever for travel.
As for occasionally flouting laws, don’t worry about it. Safety is not the problem, bureaucrats and nuisance do gooders are the problem. In a pinch I have taken our baby in cabs, uber and so on even in the USA without a car seat . I am very thankful that the drivers did not give me a hard time. Sitting there clutching the baby is hardly dangerous. Rotten laws on the other hand are very dangerous.
Also, I take the baby on the bus all the time. It’s hilariius that’s legal!
Anonymous says
This has been an interesting read. More than anything, I definitely need to travel more! But my family including my 13 month old will be going to Cuba next month. Any suggestions on car seats? Has anyone made this trip with a toddler? My husband wants to wing it, but I’m just too nervous to not have his car seat. Help!
Olivia says
Loved the comments. I have a doona which is a carseat and stroller in one! I took my baby to Mexico, Vancouver, Brisbane, Melbourne, Port Vila and Florida with it and it was absolutely amazing! She is about to turn 1 and we’re going to China, Vietnam and Taiwan. Not going to bring the doona though… thinking of getting a zoe travel stroller instead but unsure. Going to a resort or visiting family is one thing but if youre doing extensive travel to lots of places it becomes so cumbersome. Westerners have to sacrifice some of our ideals when we visit certain places. If you need one check out GO-GO BABYZ TRAVELMATE Car Seat Travel Stroller for Toddler Car Seats or rent one when you arrived. I have been on 50+ plane rides and cant recall seeing a single child in a carseat for the plane ride and we didnt use ours either.
Techsavymom says
Ride safe travel vest is a good alternative to car seat.
Kat says
What about for those that have a tot younger than 1. Still no carseat? Traveling to Taiwan in a few days. We plan to use Uber and taxis throughout our trip and have a Mountain Buggy travel stroller but weren’t planning to bring a carseat. Thoughts?
Rena Dulberg says
Curious to learn which transport company you used in Cancun that offered car seats?
Rose says
Has anyone had experience travelling with children in MEXICO CITY? We will be using Uber and I can’t imagine that we will find any Ubers with car seats installed. Thus, how do we keep our children safe (one almost 3 years old and the other 9 mos old. Comments please….